Wednesday, November 4, 2015

grace and room

Who I am and all that I am not, can be more than overwhelming.
I can't help but feel like I am too much and not enough all at the same time.
Too anxious and not trusting enough.
Too proud and not loving enough.
Too stressed and not relaxed enough.
Too controlling and not flexible enough.
Too exhausted and not patient enough. 
Too materialistic and not thankful enough. 
Too selfish and not generous enough.
 ...and the list goes on.

Lately God has been gently reminding me that for all of this, there. is. GRACE. 
He is gracious.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'..."

-2 Corinthians 12:9

He is enough and in Him there is grace to be exactly who I am right now.

There are times that I can get so fixated on my own gripping sinfulness or how difficult situations are or the obvious imperfections in others, I lose sight of the grace that is freely given to let those moments be. To let me be, to let situations be, to let others be.
Because His grace is sufficient.
In hard moments, with hard people, with our own hard selves, 
                                              Jesus offers grace to be and ROOM to grow.

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." -Philippians 1:6

God began the good work within us friends, and He is faithful to continue that work in us. To grow us. 

He will not leave us as we are. Even in the times when growth seems impossible, and it's just downright hard to hold tight to the hope that He is at work within us. 
                                                                                                Within the situation. 
                                                                                                Within others. 
God is always at work, "causing everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them.' Romans 8:28

It is a funny thing to constantly be growing, especially since it is not clearly seen from one moment to the next. BUT that does not mean it isn't happening.

My heart has known that all too well with watching my sweet Everett grow over the last 19 months. I cannot tell you how that dear one has grown so fast or pin-point the moments in which his complete dependency has transformed to a demanding independent little spirit. 
I also cannot tell you the exact moment that I went from the hot mess of emotional chaos, fear and insecurity of being a new mom to....a less emotional, little less fearful and still somewhat insecure mess haha 
All I can do is reflect on how we were and see now all of the ways that we have changed. 
The ways that God has grown us.
We have grown and will continue to grow, until the day we meet Jesus.
As will you friend. 

In learning to be a momma, my heart has longed for grace and room. 

His gifts of grace to be and the room to grow, have become very real and necessary for me. 
But God has been opening my eyes to this need in every role and situation I have been blessed with.
As a wife.
Co-worker. name it.
There will always be less than ideal situations, more than difficult people, ugly sin that needs to be repented of...and a whole host of other things that we all wish that we could change in just a quick moment.
I am not claiming that learning to deal with any of these is or ever will be easy.
I know it will be work, hard work
It will require patience, repentance, submission, trust, love, perseverance, prayer, and probably more than we anticipate to give at times.

But in these difficult seasons, with these difficult people and even with your sinful self, hold tight to the goodness of Jesus knowing that in Him there is indeed  

       grace to be and room to grow.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

There is Hope

It is a challenge to get through some days.

To get ready for work after long nights with my wee one. 
To stay positive when exhaustion takes over.
To get my five-year old students to do anything productive on a snow day.
To remember AND meet deadlines.
To cook dinner after a full day of work.
To find time to update a blog aha
To choose joy in the mundane tasks of each day.

...and the list goes on...

BUT there is Hope.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,"
-1 Peter 1:3

In Jesus, there is living hope. 
Let's be anchored to that. 
Let's remember that He is good.
He is gracious and loving.
He meets us where we are.
He comforts.
He provides and sustains. 
He mends and restores.

Let's choose Hope friends
And if even that feels too difficult for your heart and mind right now, choose to simply rest; 
and just trust that God is faithful to meet you in that.

On another note:
Making joy out of the mundane...
Reading my students' writing can be a challenge for me at times.
I want to share that challenge, and the joy that it brings, with you!
See the picture below. 
Leave a comment, with what my student is saying on this page.
The first person to decipher the message with 100% accuracy, will receive a special treat in the mail!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

To Soak in the Now-

This time last year I was:
-five months pregnant 
-finally over morning/all-day sickness
-still in shock that we were having a boy
-teaching Kindergarten at my favorite school
-working with the best teachers/people I know
-preparing to go to New York for a "babymoon" with my man
-planning the Pause Weekend camp out
-arranging details for upcoming CARES events at our apartments

Today I am:

-feeling accomplished because my little guy is finally asleep
-exhausted from a full day of work after the usual 3:00am feeding
-sore from toting around my twenty-pound little love all evening #clingyphase aha
-staring at the mess of boxes and clutter that come with preparing to move
-still teaching Kindergarten, yet at a completely different school
-trusting the Lord's guidance in the beginning phases of The Well Church

All of this in ONE year.
So much has changed. 
I have changed. 
I am still changing and trying to boldly walk in the new roles the LORD has graciously given me. And it is hard. It's rewarding and liberating to know that life is not stagnant; that the Lord is at work within me, using me and challenging me in new ways. Still, there are growing pains and the need to slow down, to process, to relate, to share, to reflect and remember; to soak in the now, whatever it may be. It is my hope to really feel things, to dwell deeply in the work of the Lord in my life and in those around me. Without taking time to notice it, to reflect on it, to wrestle with it, I've begun to see that I will miss it completely.

So, hello blogspot. 
Here is some of my story.