Wednesday, November 4, 2015

grace and room

Who I am and all that I am not, can be more than overwhelming.
I can't help but feel like I am too much and not enough all at the same time.
Too anxious and not trusting enough.
Too proud and not loving enough.
Too stressed and not relaxed enough.
Too controlling and not flexible enough.
Too exhausted and not patient enough. 
Too materialistic and not thankful enough. 
Too selfish and not generous enough.
 ...and the list goes on.

Lately God has been gently reminding me that for all of this, there. is. GRACE. 
He is gracious.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'..."

-2 Corinthians 12:9

He is enough and in Him there is grace to be exactly who I am right now.

There are times that I can get so fixated on my own gripping sinfulness or how difficult situations are or the obvious imperfections in others, I lose sight of the grace that is freely given to let those moments be. To let me be, to let situations be, to let others be.
Because His grace is sufficient.
In hard moments, with hard people, with our own hard selves, 
                                              Jesus offers grace to be and ROOM to grow.

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." -Philippians 1:6

God began the good work within us friends, and He is faithful to continue that work in us. To grow us. 

He will not leave us as we are. Even in the times when growth seems impossible, and it's just downright hard to hold tight to the hope that He is at work within us. 
                                                                                                Within the situation. 
                                                                                                Within others. 
God is always at work, "causing everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them.' Romans 8:28

It is a funny thing to constantly be growing, especially since it is not clearly seen from one moment to the next. BUT that does not mean it isn't happening.

My heart has known that all too well with watching my sweet Everett grow over the last 19 months. I cannot tell you how that dear one has grown so fast or pin-point the moments in which his complete dependency has transformed to a demanding independent little spirit. 
I also cannot tell you the exact moment that I went from the hot mess of emotional chaos, fear and insecurity of being a new mom to....a less emotional, little less fearful and still somewhat insecure mess haha 
All I can do is reflect on how we were and see now all of the ways that we have changed. 
The ways that God has grown us.
We have grown and will continue to grow, until the day we meet Jesus.
As will you friend. 

In learning to be a momma, my heart has longed for grace and room. 

His gifts of grace to be and the room to grow, have become very real and necessary for me. 
But God has been opening my eyes to this need in every role and situation I have been blessed with.
As a wife.
Co-worker. name it.
There will always be less than ideal situations, more than difficult people, ugly sin that needs to be repented of...and a whole host of other things that we all wish that we could change in just a quick moment.
I am not claiming that learning to deal with any of these is or ever will be easy.
I know it will be work, hard work
It will require patience, repentance, submission, trust, love, perseverance, prayer, and probably more than we anticipate to give at times.

But in these difficult seasons, with these difficult people and even with your sinful self, hold tight to the goodness of Jesus knowing that in Him there is indeed  

       grace to be and room to grow.